First few days: secure, don't sort
- Secure the home. Lock doors and windows, and collect spare keys from neighbors or helpers so you know who has access.
- Take care of time-sensitive things. Perishable food, plants, pets, and anything that could cause damage or pests.
- Collect the mail, or ask a trusted neighbor to. Bills and important notices will keep arriving.
- Locate key documents: the will, any trust, a list of wishes for specific items, insurance policies, deeds, and titles. Keep originals safe with a trusted family member or the estate attorney.
- Resist the urge to start giving things away. There's rarely a reason to rush, and decisions made in the first days of grief are the ones families most often regret.
Find out who's in charge
When someone dies, there is usually a person responsible for the estate: the executor named in the will, or a personal representative appointed by the court. Before belongings are divided or shipped, that person, and the estate attorney if there is one, should agree on the plan.
In Florida, a personal representative isn't required to deliver a beneficiary's share until five months after letters of administration are granted (Fla. Stat. § 733.801(1)). Many families still move sooner on personal items when everyone agrees, but ask the attorney what's appropriate in your situation.
Look for your parent's wishes
Check whether your parent left a list or letter about specific items. In Florida, a will can refer to a separate signed list that disposes of tangible personal property such as jewelry, furniture, and household items (Fla. Stat. § 732.515). Even informal notes or remembered conversations can help guide the family, but the estate attorney can tell you what's binding.
Document before anything moves
Before sorting begins, walk through the home and take photos or video of each room, and of valuable or meaningful items up close. A simple inventory protects everyone. It helps the executor, gives siblings who can't be there a fair view of what exists, and creates a record if questions come up later.
Set aside the small, irreplaceable things
Photographs, letters, recipe cards, military medals, jewelry, and family documents are easy to lose during a busy cleanout. Gather them early and keep them somewhere safe and dry. The National Archives recommends storing family papers and photographs away from damp basements, garages, and hot attics (see sources below). Consider scanning photos and letters so every family member can have a copy.
Divide belongings fairly
When the family is ready, agree on a method before anyone starts choosing: taking turns, colored stickers, value tiers, or a family auction. Our guide on dividing a parent's belongings among siblings explains each one. Keep a master list of the item, recipient, and delivery address.
Decide what happens to the rest
- Sell: an estate sale, consignment, or auction for items with resale value. An appraiser can help identify valuable pieces before anything is sold.
- Donate: usable furniture, clothing, and household goods.
- Discard or recycle: what's left.
Check with the executor before selling or donating anything of significant value.
Get each person's items home
Once the list is final, each relative's items need to be packed and sent to their address. Senior Assist Shipping handles the pickup, sorting, packing, and shipping of anything you need sent to your loved ones. During a difficult time, we will make this part a little easier. See shipping a parent's belongings after a loss and shipping to multiple heirs.
If you live out of state
Many families handle a parent's estate from hundreds or thousands of miles away. A few things make that easier: ask a trusted neighbor, friend, or the building manager to keep an eye on the home; plan one or two focused trips instead of many short ones; do as much as you can by phone and video call; and work with local helpers who can meet you at the home or handle pickups on your behalf. Our page for out-of-state families explains how we coordinate with relatives who can't be in Florida.
Prepare the home for what's next
If the home is being sold or a lease is ending, ask the real estate agent or landlord about deadlines, and plan the shipping and cleanout around them. Many condo associations have rules for move times and elevator use, so call the management office early.
Be gentle with yourself
There's no right speed for this. Some families finish in a few weekends; others take months. Take breaks, share the load, and keep a few things that bring you comfort close at hand. It's okay to pause.
The checklist at a glance
- Secure the home and collect keys.
- Handle perishables, pets, plants, and mail.
- Locate the will, trust, and any list of wishes.
- Confirm who is authorized to make decisions.
- Photograph and inventory before anything moves.
- Set aside photos, papers, jewelry, and keepsakes.
- Agree on a fair method to divide items.
- Make a master list: item, recipient, address.
- Sell, donate, or discard the rest, with the executor's OK.
- Arrange packing and shipping to each family member.
Sources
- Florida Statutes § 733.801: Delivery of devises and distributive shares
- Florida Statutes § 732.515: Separate writing identifying devises of tangible property
- National Archives: Storing Family Papers and Photographs
- This checklist is general information, not legal advice.